Classy Lil' Mamas

So me and my ladies decided that we needed to showcase our style and grace in public, so we went to San Francisco's Ferry Building for some champagne and oysters. CLASSY, I KNOW. I am a delicate little lady that enjoys parasols, winged celestial beings, fine silks, and sometimes, I even shit out caviar. Of course, I spend my Monday afternoons sipping a lil bubbly and discussing European architecture with four of the most sophisticated broads I could find on Craigslist.

First, we hit up the Ferry Plaza Wine Merchant and got these champagne flights that came with 3 different champagnes, one of which was a rose and the other 2 are a complete mystery. All I know was that I felt really nice after I took the flight. I think my girls were feeling good too because the noises coming out of our mouths were one decibel above that of a crop duster. Again, CLASSY.

We also ordered this opulent platter of cheeses, bread from the Acme Bread Company, and marinated olives and mushrooms, all of which made me feel very dignified and marginally female. By the way, I love Acme's bread more than I love most of my nuclear family so you can imagine what kind of pelvic motions I was trying to suppress.

Next, we miraculously stumbled upon HAPPY HOUR at the Hog Island Oyster Company. 5pm-7pm on Mondays and Thursdays but get there around 4:15 because it gets CRAZY crowded by the time 5 rolls around. $1.00 OYSTERS!!!

Pints are only $3.50 during happy hour, which is a bit pricier than what I pay for 40's but again, on Monday's I spare no expense for a little bit of luxury. I got a pint of Racer 5 IPA and I must say, it tasted like fermented magnolias.

I am so deep.

More Acme bread for me to caress ever so gently with my small, girlish hands.

This is where the ladylike behavior went down the shitter because I nutted myself thrice. Once, twice, three times a lady is what a wise man once said. Anyhow, it is their grilled cheese sandwich made from Cowgirl Creamery's Mezzo Secco, Gruyere, and Fromage Blanc. Yeah, El Nino in your crotch is right.

I live for this bowl of clam chowder. It is so creamy, with just the right amount of bacon, topped with glorious little Manila clams. I dedicate every Jodeci song in existence to this bowl of chowder right here, especially "Feenin." CAUSE I'M FEEEEEEEEENIN' FOR YOU!!!!!

STEAMERS. I hit. Tasted like hams, son.

THE OYSTERS! Since these were only a buck, we got 40. Take note of the vinegar mixture in the middle called amazing with these fresh, buttery lovers. Jesus christ, I want to go back!!!!

In conclusion, I am hot.

Look at this...


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