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The Trials and Tribulations of a Plant-Based Diet

Shit, I forgot I had a blog until I got an e-mail notification telling me they were gonna shut down my domain if I didn't fork over ten bucks. It was a tough decision, but I decided to just renew my domain for the sake of the American public. Heaven knows what they and the rest of the world would do without

Anyhow, like Ne-Yo and every other basic bitch on the planet that's watched Netflix's sensational new horror film, What The Health, I pledged twenty five cans of red paint to PETA and announced (to my cats) that I would adopt a plant-based diet. I had eaten an egg that very day, which according to the film is the equivalent of smoking a cargo pallet of cigarettes, and my body was being terrorized by a belligerent group of carcinogens. The decision to choose forks over knives was a matter of life and death, so I chose LIFE.

I immediately jumped in my Prius and drove full speed (60 mph) to my local Trader Joe's to find plant-based sustenan…

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