Free-Range Snails? Not a Joke?

After joking about Free-Range Snails, I decided to Google it and to my horror, I found out that IT IS IN FACT REAL. There are free-range snail farms in New Zealand and Australia such as the Silver Trail Free-Range Snail Farm (

This at the top of my list of "World's Most Unnecessary Things" next to Akon and underwear. In the heat of my ignorance, I am sure I am overlooking the fact that traditional snail farming practices could involve very Gitmo-like practices such as the usage of pesticides, flagellation, water torture, and castration. I mean, its not like I'm going to rent a crop duster and drop an assload of salt on these places but I am failing to see how this is not ridiculous. Perhaps I am a heartless sociopath or not as firm of a believer in organic practices as I should be. And now I feel guilty for not caring enough about snails...GREAT.

I am sorry for dragging you through my thought process and the mini emotional roller coaster ride that I just put myself through.

Okay, I'm gonna go to lunch now and think about what I just did.


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