Fight The Power: Footie Pajamas

I consider myself to be a proactive consumer and I think as consumers, we should be vocal about any injustices we see in modern merchandising systems. Thus, I take it upon myself to write firm e-mails to retailers, restaurants, etc. when I spot any inconsistencies. I do this not because I want them to send me free gift cards, but because I CARE.

So my friend, Steph and I were shocked and disgusted to find that Target neglected to release their Cherokee brand footed pajamas in a dinosaur print. They typically release a new print every year and it is the most thrilling part of our year.

These are the alleged replacements for the dino footies. DEER've gotta be shittin me. A dinosaur could swallow a deer whole and I could probably decapitate a deer with a single slap to the face. No actual boy would want to wear this shit because he would probably end up beating his own ass.

We felt it was our civil duty to take a stand and speak out against this injustice so we sent Target the following e-mail:

Dear Target Corporation,

I am writing to you in regards to your Boys Sleepwear Collection for Fall 2010. My son Stephan and I look forward to this collection every year because your stores always release the Cherokee brand footed pajamas in a different dinosaur print. It has become a tradition in our family that both Stephan and I purchase new dinosaur footed pajamas on his birthday (September 27) and wear them together as a family.

Upon visiting your locations in Glendale, Burbank, Eagle Rock, and West Hollywood locations this past weekend, I was shocked and horrified to discover that there was no dinosaur print available. I did, however, see that you are now carrying a deer print, which is not nearly as fanciful as the dinosaur print. I also found that your online store does not offer this print either. I even took the liberty of reaching out to my friends on the East Coast, who also kindly informed me that your Mid-Atlantic stores did not carry this dinosaur print as well.

Being that Stephan's 15th birthday is fast approaching, I am panicking because I do not have a present for him and as a concerned parent, do not wish to break his heart. It is hard for me to believe that this style may have been unpopular or may not have performed as well as other styles because it has been a consistent part of your collection in the past. I just wanted to shed light on the fact that this print is in high demand and has significant value to your customers.

Please let me know if you desire any design help or general consulting in putting together this year's dinosaur footed pajama release. May I kindly suggest that your design team does NOT revisit the idea of the holy trinity (triceratops, tyrannosaurus rex, stegosaurus) and include the more fanciful pterodactyl in your concept? Glow-in-the-dark print dinosaurs, as done so tastefully on black triceratops two years ago, were also quite a hit with my son Stephan and his social circle.

I look forward to hearing back from you all and hopefully purchasing these coveted pajamas soon.

Stephan on his 14th Birthday

Within a day, I received the following response:

Dear Hotass Milf (I changed the name):

Thanks for telling us you'd like to see Dinosaur Pajamas with feet at your local Target.

Your suggestions are important because they help us learn more about what you're looking for. Although I can't promise we'll carry this item, I'll let our Buying team know what you'd like to see on our shelves.

At Target, it's all about having what you're shopping for at a great value. With your comments in mind, we'll keep working hard to bring you the unique merchandise that fits your lifestyle.

Thanks for letting us know how we can make your Target experience even better.


Target Guest Relations
(800) 440-0680

....The nerve. No gift card offer, no coupons for nachos and popcorn, NOTHING. So my response will be to send my resume and an application for Cindy's job at Target Guest Relations.


Elaine N said…
Hi Fatass. Totally agree a T-rex would kick a deer's ass to next year. Hate when the powers that be pull the rug from under us like that. Hope you found a decent present. I'm adding you to my list of links. Cheers. E

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