Yadidathizz: The Bay to LA (Like Amoeba, Player)
I am sitting at a Peet's Coffee in LA and am on the verge of pissing myself but am in a huge pickle because I can't leave my laptop and go to the bathroom because I am sitting next to a person of questionable gender with a heinous bowlcut and we all know those are the sorts that cannot be trusted around unattended electronics. So I'm just gonna sit here and blog until I piss my shorts and get kicked out.
As you can see, I have relocated my ass to LA because I like to surround myself with people more delusional than I am. Needless to say, I miss San Francisco and all of it's freakish glory. Before I left, I stuffed myself with some the Bay's finest nom's and said my farewells to my various lovers.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVY2NOzMxgCbX-LNQKS3UzsbZjm7o8V5-4QrO1ur5Y1iUN6Qz6LxwIshwN8zMIFuA5oRFInuQaYHJnG21q84XMVz3FpemGRseRrPEy_zuqcBBmN1a5-DWXZNPkRcaDJWhzgm6VX0f_Gih7/s400/giantspregame.jpg)
Of course I had to bid farewell to my Giants. A proper goodbye meant smuggling in Safeway fried chicken, Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka, and lemonades into AT&T Park. Shout out to the people at the gate for overlooking the questionable liquids in my purse and platter of fried chicken in Tee Tee's sweatshirt.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7ksAycaBv8zANzJ-nG-0ZfDfkhc8Cjp_Sykih3N8MBkDcwyOYCdyy7BoI1924IYYzezwHaZ1jozFTCvoMwQEPGfFOBl2AZdoSQDOT17B0D-UoVi3lT0cxwdK5W4RNfox1fVA5CXzrPqSn/s400/giantsalty.jpg)
The popcorn carts come equipped with the finest of flavored dusts. My favorites were obviously the RANCH and GARLIC PARMESAN. I brought my crab sandwich to the popcorn dust cart and dusted it with a delicate layer of ranch. The person at the stand really appreciated my aggressive use ranch powder.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuNYGlMBBr4wEcAoQLHpBi0t_jw5Q-dabUewVTkpUK1cImrYrPI0YxA9rhiD3NrQN7f5L7jYdhbeJjjI2Q7gtyJx2wZ_PTv8IalTIlQzlxYgp4wqc0VICCLg57vM7956v3YhgblylLxZ2B/s400/giants.jpg)
This is where I like to sit and try to proposition Travis Ishikawa for sex with my bullhorn.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd8aLJLxgFMxUq0JoVlA1rGNTi_cIDRRODJErP57tqMmTzRkYEyPJvhXGzU8tK5gUp6K9HDjf-egOscLIRUqR1lv6ymegSHLmO2yMaJnhixNHeiCTTrbRM2v3Rdf2UibdrjyMTVN0oUQk1/s400/ticouzcoffee.jpg)
My homie, Joe brought me to this magical place on 16th and Valencia called Ti Couz. I was sexcited because their buckwheat crepes are on the 7x7 100 Things Eat Before You Die in SF list. This bowl of coffee did wonders for my digestive tract.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxBz-46LGVqo5Rh7KqzKM6TEemYoS0f5fw88V8QyOo8Ia8C1tAR5K-gE7_hqwWml8os4w28x5TFGWRheVdSUbMqdUWufbKlTYkAL4TXiDZQ2ANb38LYDU2F1hjVSXNAOXwr0PtpVCcWbcl/s400/ticouzsalad.jpg)
Sea creature salad popped off.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY50mH0ZlTmoVtL5V_2LqCWU5tdV9_BcDY2ZeAFnwuGurld4xwxXylt9sD_tW04y-ZXVA5T8Bmqb-BeMAptiCxyOSiY1Ucgfu4IK8Ba4BuwAfGu-3dyB3y_2RoVhh3wYV81nP4WJLa71oB/s400/ticouzcrepe.jpg)
I am skeptical of anything that has the word "wheat" attached to it but these buckwheat crepes were off the hook! This one had sausage and a mushroom sauce, which completely cancelled out the wheatness going on. Yeah, fuck wheat but this shit banged.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU2-dohrgF7wSJvLqXTbBGdWAwuI0Fic_jeacXbbSDaqX15-jrJsSXl6cKK0lCXHuVZWV17LsIVmvJyq_pyqpeGWxsNCtdtgeMmdrtUoqmcPA_EiHGms2U_PZ3oDEPrY1DNT-bEtC1Y3yx/s400/ticouzchocorate.jpg)
GOOD LORD. I cannot remember what this is called but its got chocolate mousse, chantilly cream, and vanilla ice cream in it. Basically, I want to die and be reincarnated as this dessert and eat myself alive. I died a thousand times eating this bad boy.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgmmADsxBizIRPW3IAYM13wB1CookkXLW-8he9GH6cAWc6z5DDUf3bgqY-kRwdN2yAsI_BFFLpbMsUAKhPIzezlWEFgfkeXy9BQLl5QzaO1C-taUk1UHOTP1x-SdHIwCKfkbuo3xBdYJd8/s400/massawa.jpg)
We also hit up this crackin Ethiopian spot called Massawa on Haight Street. I have never really had Ethiopian food except for when I stole the Ethiopian foreign exchange students lunch in high school once and almost burst into flames. We started off with this veggie hot pocket-esque thing that was similar to a samusa.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7UePBQk26uHXkJtAsGLER2VTY_wO3oMb3AkIYR__LyuME-9W4V6TWnvThNi1epeV3o15X5t98WKgY-tULUVXZDtCvWpZ6oRldlWIxG9Ff5pIuXLH4OIo32qSLBUt1NT0UiJD5FkXlHnNM/s400/massawainjera.jpg)
I felt what the clouds of heaven must feel like when I touched this injera bread. It's so soft and luscious, its porous texture felt amazing against my sweaty palms. I molested it for what seemed like an eternity and as embarrassing as it was for my pal, I could not stop because it was just so inviting. I desperately want to lay atop a slate countertop naked and cover my body in injera for an entire week. Maybe for my birthday?
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSypJbhzXGaZx_4FJ5GYopmnCgQpZZ9DWFKzTZou4Lt_1STftgTuwG453kljVEO-lX2wpc6NZ1N9_bn4AhM6HxrFnznaOygA_INBeKG45E3sFKyEkb1BXqmRtDsKzO-3-HXITkY7ON-Ej6/s400/massawanom.jpg)
An enormous platter of beefs, chicken, lentils, and a yogurty substance that rivals Mexican crema. I officially love Ethiopian cuisine ten thousand times more than I love myself.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIJMix-OOE076VVg2-YiPGRt68d3aAsv_-GZbFReQGlPgP_rSCiMeUPkeFxVgIQ-pjDk7Zafa4uG1DuVo8YOQ_p8HPe_DZztBKiUbwJKiscbHmBCqkN0ds4RIU8CEUNYyWOsjbaxijuIan/s400/milindosalchi.jpg)
Gabby aka Little Brown put me onto this spot on Mission called Mi Lindo Peru, which is duh, Peruvian food. My absolute favorite part of this place is a little thing on the menu called "Salchipapa," which is french fries and cut up hot dog. BRILLIANT. I did not order it but the name and ingredients alone make it a winner in my book.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxlqF9o1qsJU95ae3u3PDWL49OWXCLmWycxL5dapV4MsW_n1WXZLGdOMIaSLms3aQY0B1nNgvRzpVqLlZI2fsvgDwmDmTenjh_Ms9QYixv5CEdUD3oJWwCl7r1qT8yA5idG0Qc8QWMeJmm/s400/milindohalea.jpg)
The halea, which is a fried platter of scrimps, calamari, fish, and yucca. GREAZY mothafucka.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKLb0j_M4kaVjTkBujhDaGzD_cz7MFDRCpf3isf4u4siLLVPzCCd7ez5Vl6iGp6ludAQo3NVsM0vOqrxWBaU8EBNrImIY_PNAd424XZq8F166k01ezlFWTqE8E0Cma_yeOszkwky46gkD2/s400/milindoajo.jpg)
I had the snapper with the garlic butter on it. I dare someone to eat this, make out with someone, and see if they survive because the garlic on this is fuckin BANGIN.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1s_1rm19aSN3eEDiuJn1PVrdHDzrzxW0lvV12qsbtgM8ypDE0TNOawqWP5rzSzfcv9wbZKne75k-zrJHljj8eAYekqs8veDlIDvVeNJC3xfOvOy013q2KPrIhAZUpiMnbzXnUXWD89SV1/s400/tallboysmexicana.jpg)
God, what I wouldn't do to walk up and down the streets of San Francisco with a tall boy and Mexican popsicle one last time.
This nerdy rap song pretty much encompasses my geographical situation:
As you can see, I have relocated my ass to LA because I like to surround myself with people more delusional than I am. Needless to say, I miss San Francisco and all of it's freakish glory. Before I left, I stuffed myself with some the Bay's finest nom's and said my farewells to my various lovers.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVY2NOzMxgCbX-LNQKS3UzsbZjm7o8V5-4QrO1ur5Y1iUN6Qz6LxwIshwN8zMIFuA5oRFInuQaYHJnG21q84XMVz3FpemGRseRrPEy_zuqcBBmN1a5-DWXZNPkRcaDJWhzgm6VX0f_Gih7/s400/giantspregame.jpg)
Of course I had to bid farewell to my Giants. A proper goodbye meant smuggling in Safeway fried chicken, Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka, and lemonades into AT&T Park. Shout out to the people at the gate for overlooking the questionable liquids in my purse and platter of fried chicken in Tee Tee's sweatshirt.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7ksAycaBv8zANzJ-nG-0ZfDfkhc8Cjp_Sykih3N8MBkDcwyOYCdyy7BoI1924IYYzezwHaZ1jozFTCvoMwQEPGfFOBl2AZdoSQDOT17B0D-UoVi3lT0cxwdK5W4RNfox1fVA5CXzrPqSn/s400/giantsalty.jpg)
The popcorn carts come equipped with the finest of flavored dusts. My favorites were obviously the RANCH and GARLIC PARMESAN. I brought my crab sandwich to the popcorn dust cart and dusted it with a delicate layer of ranch. The person at the stand really appreciated my aggressive use ranch powder.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuNYGlMBBr4wEcAoQLHpBi0t_jw5Q-dabUewVTkpUK1cImrYrPI0YxA9rhiD3NrQN7f5L7jYdhbeJjjI2Q7gtyJx2wZ_PTv8IalTIlQzlxYgp4wqc0VICCLg57vM7956v3YhgblylLxZ2B/s400/giants.jpg)
This is where I like to sit and try to proposition Travis Ishikawa for sex with my bullhorn.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd8aLJLxgFMxUq0JoVlA1rGNTi_cIDRRODJErP57tqMmTzRkYEyPJvhXGzU8tK5gUp6K9HDjf-egOscLIRUqR1lv6ymegSHLmO2yMaJnhixNHeiCTTrbRM2v3Rdf2UibdrjyMTVN0oUQk1/s400/ticouzcoffee.jpg)
My homie, Joe brought me to this magical place on 16th and Valencia called Ti Couz. I was sexcited because their buckwheat crepes are on the 7x7 100 Things Eat Before You Die in SF list. This bowl of coffee did wonders for my digestive tract.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxBz-46LGVqo5Rh7KqzKM6TEemYoS0f5fw88V8QyOo8Ia8C1tAR5K-gE7_hqwWml8os4w28x5TFGWRheVdSUbMqdUWufbKlTYkAL4TXiDZQ2ANb38LYDU2F1hjVSXNAOXwr0PtpVCcWbcl/s400/ticouzsalad.jpg)
Sea creature salad popped off.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY50mH0ZlTmoVtL5V_2LqCWU5tdV9_BcDY2ZeAFnwuGurld4xwxXylt9sD_tW04y-ZXVA5T8Bmqb-BeMAptiCxyOSiY1Ucgfu4IK8Ba4BuwAfGu-3dyB3y_2RoVhh3wYV81nP4WJLa71oB/s400/ticouzcrepe.jpg)
I am skeptical of anything that has the word "wheat" attached to it but these buckwheat crepes were off the hook! This one had sausage and a mushroom sauce, which completely cancelled out the wheatness going on. Yeah, fuck wheat but this shit banged.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU2-dohrgF7wSJvLqXTbBGdWAwuI0Fic_jeacXbbSDaqX15-jrJsSXl6cKK0lCXHuVZWV17LsIVmvJyq_pyqpeGWxsNCtdtgeMmdrtUoqmcPA_EiHGms2U_PZ3oDEPrY1DNT-bEtC1Y3yx/s400/ticouzchocorate.jpg)
GOOD LORD. I cannot remember what this is called but its got chocolate mousse, chantilly cream, and vanilla ice cream in it. Basically, I want to die and be reincarnated as this dessert and eat myself alive. I died a thousand times eating this bad boy.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgmmADsxBizIRPW3IAYM13wB1CookkXLW-8he9GH6cAWc6z5DDUf3bgqY-kRwdN2yAsI_BFFLpbMsUAKhPIzezlWEFgfkeXy9BQLl5QzaO1C-taUk1UHOTP1x-SdHIwCKfkbuo3xBdYJd8/s400/massawa.jpg)
We also hit up this crackin Ethiopian spot called Massawa on Haight Street. I have never really had Ethiopian food except for when I stole the Ethiopian foreign exchange students lunch in high school once and almost burst into flames. We started off with this veggie hot pocket-esque thing that was similar to a samusa.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7UePBQk26uHXkJtAsGLER2VTY_wO3oMb3AkIYR__LyuME-9W4V6TWnvThNi1epeV3o15X5t98WKgY-tULUVXZDtCvWpZ6oRldlWIxG9Ff5pIuXLH4OIo32qSLBUt1NT0UiJD5FkXlHnNM/s400/massawainjera.jpg)
I felt what the clouds of heaven must feel like when I touched this injera bread. It's so soft and luscious, its porous texture felt amazing against my sweaty palms. I molested it for what seemed like an eternity and as embarrassing as it was for my pal, I could not stop because it was just so inviting. I desperately want to lay atop a slate countertop naked and cover my body in injera for an entire week. Maybe for my birthday?
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSypJbhzXGaZx_4FJ5GYopmnCgQpZZ9DWFKzTZou4Lt_1STftgTuwG453kljVEO-lX2wpc6NZ1N9_bn4AhM6HxrFnznaOygA_INBeKG45E3sFKyEkb1BXqmRtDsKzO-3-HXITkY7ON-Ej6/s400/massawanom.jpg)
An enormous platter of beefs, chicken, lentils, and a yogurty substance that rivals Mexican crema. I officially love Ethiopian cuisine ten thousand times more than I love myself.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIJMix-OOE076VVg2-YiPGRt68d3aAsv_-GZbFReQGlPgP_rSCiMeUPkeFxVgIQ-pjDk7Zafa4uG1DuVo8YOQ_p8HPe_DZztBKiUbwJKiscbHmBCqkN0ds4RIU8CEUNYyWOsjbaxijuIan/s400/milindosalchi.jpg)
Gabby aka Little Brown put me onto this spot on Mission called Mi Lindo Peru, which is duh, Peruvian food. My absolute favorite part of this place is a little thing on the menu called "Salchipapa," which is french fries and cut up hot dog. BRILLIANT. I did not order it but the name and ingredients alone make it a winner in my book.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxlqF9o1qsJU95ae3u3PDWL49OWXCLmWycxL5dapV4MsW_n1WXZLGdOMIaSLms3aQY0B1nNgvRzpVqLlZI2fsvgDwmDmTenjh_Ms9QYixv5CEdUD3oJWwCl7r1qT8yA5idG0Qc8QWMeJmm/s400/milindohalea.jpg)
The halea, which is a fried platter of scrimps, calamari, fish, and yucca. GREAZY mothafucka.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKLb0j_M4kaVjTkBujhDaGzD_cz7MFDRCpf3isf4u4siLLVPzCCd7ez5Vl6iGp6ludAQo3NVsM0vOqrxWBaU8EBNrImIY_PNAd424XZq8F166k01ezlFWTqE8E0Cma_yeOszkwky46gkD2/s400/milindoajo.jpg)
I had the snapper with the garlic butter on it. I dare someone to eat this, make out with someone, and see if they survive because the garlic on this is fuckin BANGIN.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1s_1rm19aSN3eEDiuJn1PVrdHDzrzxW0lvV12qsbtgM8ypDE0TNOawqWP5rzSzfcv9wbZKne75k-zrJHljj8eAYekqs8veDlIDvVeNJC3xfOvOy013q2KPrIhAZUpiMnbzXnUXWD89SV1/s400/tallboysmexicana.jpg)
God, what I wouldn't do to walk up and down the streets of San Francisco with a tall boy and Mexican popsicle one last time.
This nerdy rap song pretty much encompasses my geographical situation:
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