Yeah, I Made That: Spinach Dip Burgers

I am taking a break from my busy schedule of watching Lifetime movies and contemplating exercise to update the most riveting and thought provoking blog on the internet. Be grateful.

Contrary to what online IQ tests may claim, I am actually a genius. How do I know this? Because I invented a little something called a SPINACH DIP BURGER the other day whilst leading health care reform negotiations in the Senate and writing my acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize in Physics. Multitasking is child's play, I am more of a multi-innovator, if you will. Although that is neither here nor there, the point is that I am the brainchild behind an epic creation that will revolutionize the culinary scene in such a way that people will forget about the Kogi truck entirely. Actually, I was fantasizing about creating the ultimate burger and this is what I came up with. It's a Parmesan Spinach Dip Burger with caramelized onions, bacon, and arugula.

As we all know, the beef is the most important part of any burger and what kind of beef one uses in their burgers reflects a persons character and values. I consider myself to be a boss bitch of the highest caliber, so I sought out to find the finest ground beef within a 1 mile radius of my work place. As luck would have it, I work within walking distance of San Francisco's Ferry Building, which happens to be where Prather Ranch Meat Company is located, they are highly regarded for their all natural dry-aged certified organic meats. Check out the goods...

If you want to make juicyass burgers, you need FAT in the meat. Don't scrimp on the fat or else you will make dry, shitty burgers. If you're concerned about cholesterol, I'd suggest seasoning the beef with Lipitor or perhaps reconsider eating a burger altogether.


Burger Patties

- 2 lbs of Prather Ranch Ground Beef (Makes for four 1/2 lb burgers. These are big boy burgers.)
- Salt
- Pepper
- Garlic Powder

Season the beef and you can make four 1/2 lb patties or more if you like small, girly-men burgers.

Grill those fat little fucks to perfection.

Parmesan Spinach Dip
I actually stole this recipe from

- 2 tablespoons butter
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 1 3/4 cups chopped onion
- 6 large garlic cloves, minced
- 2 tablespoons all purpose flour
- 1/2 cup chicken stock or canned low-salt chicken broth
- 1/2 cup whipping cream
- 1 10-ounce package ready-to-use fresh spinach leaves
- 1 cup (packed) grated Parmesan cheese
- 1/4 cup sour cream
- 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Their recipe says: "Melt butter with oil in heavy large pot over medium heat. Add onion and garlic; sauté until onion is tender, about 6 minutes. Add flour; stir 2 minutes. Gradually whisk in stock and cream; bring to boil, whisking constantly. Cook until mixture thickens, stirring frequently, about 2 minutes. Remove from heat. Stir in spinach, cheese, sour cream and cayenne (spinach will wilt). Season with salt and pepper."

Kindly refrain from splooging directly into the pan. We had trouble with that.

Caramelized some red onions for that sexy effect.

SMOKED APPLEWOOD BACON. I have been affectionately staring at this photo for hours and am dangerously close to making out with my brothers computer screen. TMI?

The final product. Threw some arugula on top cause its tasty and pretty. LOL SMILEYFACE!!!!!!

Let's not ignore the fact that I made Parmesan Tater Tots to accompany the burgers...

Just sprankled some parmesan on top of the tots while they were baking in the oven. We like to call it the Lee family ancient Chinese tater tot recipe, courtesy of my homie Jizzo.

I was like, "FUCK YOU, BUN!!" and threw it aside.

So the burgers were good, but I think next time I'm gonna make it with a cold spinach dip (probably store bought) because I personally like those better than hot spinach dip. Also, making my own spinach dip was a pain in the ass. Which is the root of my distaste for requires movement.

So I had extra Prather Ranch ground beef so I decided to get creative again and made a "Taco Casserole." I'm sure the Prather Ranch people will probably ban me from their store if they find out what kind of atrocities I've been creating with their beef. WHATEVAAA...

I am gettin that little dude on the corn rocket tattooed on me. I heard Casa Sanchez gave anyone with the tattoo of little dude free food for life back in the day. They no longer do that but I still want the tattoo just because it would look gorgeous on my forearm.

So basically I made taco meat out of the ground beef by using taco seasoning and Cholula. Layered the Casa Sanchez tortilla chips, taco beef, and some shredded cheese and baked it until the cheese melted. Did about two layers of that.

Topped it with guac, sour cream, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and more cheese. So basically, I made a bigass tray of nachos. Taco casserole my ass...


Mira said…

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