I've been partying too much...

I cannot turn down a pastry or a baked good to save my life. If Satan offered me a Cinnabon in exchange for my first born or something, it's unlikely that I'd be able to resist. I'd be like "Go ahead, take the bastard...extra frosting please." Quite frankly, I don't think I'd be able to live with myself knowing that I turned down a free Cinnabon. I have no clue what the fuck I'm talking about anymore.

So I've been living life in the fast lane and have been participating in sexcapades with various donuts, pastries, cakes, and what not. Basically, I've been a pastry slut and I'm not ashamed to admit it because I don't believe in falling victim to societies stigmas against sugar. Unfortunately, my thighs and mid section are suffering because of my inability to control my urges and I can no longer wear pants without unbuttoning the top button. I'm hoping that people might find that provocatively stylish instead of inappropriate or gross.

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO ALL MY HOT LOVERS AND SEXIEST CONQUESTS...






Mr. Yum Yum Dozen hailing from the Yum Yum Donuts in Glendale, CA. The Yum Yum Dozen consists of any 14 donuts of your choice at the tender price of $6.99. Why buy one when you can have 14? That's what I always say. I suggest getting the plain cake donut and the plain cake with chocolate frosting and peanuts. Pair it with some milk and you're guaranteed to bust a nut.




This is the Green Tea Tempura ice cream from Fat Fish on 6th and Berendo in LA. It's like having green tea ice cream delicately wrapped in a thin layer of moist, crispy donut. It's topped with whipped cream, strawberries, and drizzled with chocolate sauce. I'm getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it.





Pretty self explanatory. It was a Jamoca Almond Fudge ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins and we were celebrating...obesity.

So in conclusion, in the words of David Banner/Gabby Aguinaldo, "Stuntin is a habit."

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