Szechuan Impression and Fruity Pebble Donuts

Sometime last year, I noticed a new business called Szechuan Impression had opened up in my neighborhood in Alhambra. I spent the next few months enjoying this fobby comedic gift from god when I drove past it everyday, never really realizing that it was a restaurant and not a Sichuanese photography studio. I thought to myself, "You mean to tell me that these impressions are AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE and EDIBLE?!" From that moment on, I was determined to Yelp it as soon as I got to work. After five minutes of diligent Googling, I discovered that this restaurant was hot shit and was even my arch nemesis, Jonathan Gold had been reveling in its delightful impressions.

Well, I finally made it there last week and my first impression was, "THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO MY MOUTH?!" Apparently, the key ingredient in all Sichuanese dishes is a murderous cocktail of three parts capsaicin and the rest is some kind of numbing agent normally reserved for dental anesthesia. 

Do not get me wrong, everything we ate here was DELICIOUS. Here we have the Honest Authentic Dumplings (I shit you not, that is the name...LOL, I know!) and the Shredded Pork in Garlic Sauce. And yes, they are both sitting in pools of magma. 

While ordering, there was a pleasant, beefy aroma wafting from the table next to us. We asked the table what it was and it was their Oxtail Soup. We demanded it be brought to us immediately and when it arrived, we all held hands and cried. This was by far, my favorite impression. My second favorite are behind the soup, which were the Lamb on Toothpicks. They are much more delightful than they sound...

It's customary to bring Asian babies to Sichuanese restaurants because  everyone knows how fond Asian babies are of hot chilis. That is my niece, Gwen or Gwenjamin Franklin as I like to call her. Despite her throwing major shade in this photo, she told me she thought everything was phenomenal. 

I had a photoshoot with my favorite donut the other day when I noticed it matched my new rug. This majestic creation is the FRUITY PEBBLE DONUT from Cafe Dulce in Little Tokyo. When I was in college, I was on a strict diet of Fruity Pebbles, Capri Sun and Hennessy, so you know this donut takes me all the way back. I wish someone would make a Henny donut already...

Went to L'Asiette Steak Frites on Melrose and it was theeeee SHIT. They specialize in steak frites and it's practically the only thing on the menu, much like Le Relais de L'Entrecote in Paris. I went there when I was in Paris and I saw a rat, but instead of being grossed out, I screamed, "RATATOUILLE!" and almost fainted from excitement. Unfortunately, there were no gifted rats at L'Asiette. Although, what they do have is buttery, melt in your panties steak and sorrel soup. 

Had a Superbowl party, so I decided to flex my entertaining nuts by frying up some buffalo and lemon pepper wangs (and a freeze cup). Check out that sexy ladle of nacho cheese from the nacho crockpot. I also curated a charcuterie platter featuring the finest of cured meats and cheeses from the nearest Fresh and Easy refrigerator. 

I'll leave you with this disturbing photo of a toothless cat swallowing prosciutto whole. He may or may not have choked to death. Just kidding...I wish. 


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