Albertacos and Exotic Wieners

Taking a quick break from reading my zombie comic books and eating salami to share my latest conquests with the internet. Oh fuck my toes are cramping!!!

...That was horrible. Anyways, my homie Anthony brought me to a place in Buena Park called Albertaco's and I rapidfire shat my pants with joy for about an hour. CARNEFUCKINGASADA FRIES!! It's been my life long dream to stuff beef covered fries into my yap and I've finally done it. I'm proud to announce that I've finally been impregnated by Mexican food.

They make their own tortillas, which double as heated edible blankets in the winter months. I'm currently storing them in a very special section in my mouth. Note that they are open til 1 a.m. and everyone knows that is code for "stoners welcome."

French fries, succulent carne asada, CHEEEEEEEEEEZ, guacamole, and sour cream. I once claimed I wanted to be embalmed with hot fudge when I die, but I've changed my mind and want to be embalmed in carne asada fry grease, wrapped in a tortilla, and placed in a sarcophagus.

Rolled tacos. Look at the amount of cheese they put on these yum yums...certainly Albertaco was not a greedy man. Generosity is the best virtue to practice when you are selling food to people.

I doubt anyones every seen this much cheese, sour cream, or guacamole on one table...aside from the assembly line at Del Taco aka the Champagne Room for Angels.

Anthony and I went to another location in Long Beach and almost broke the record for having the highest uric acid levels outside of Texas.

Next up, my homie Chris and I went to a lovely place in the heart of Downtown LA called Wurstkuche. No, it is not a German brothel...but you are not far off, it is an enormous WIENER FEST. A restaurant full of exotic sausages that range from alligator and rattlesnake to the traditional wieners like bratwursts and hot italian. They are also purveyors of a variety of Belgian and German beers, which made me the happiest child on earth. BEER AND impotent must you be to not love that combo?

I introduced myself to this display by disrobing, breathing heavily on the glass, and writing sweet nothings on it. Fortunately, this was not the first time the staff had seen this happen and I was only asked to put my overalls back on.

I got the DUCK AND BACON sausage!! Two of my favorite non-steak meats encased together in one little wiener, topped with onions and shit, and covered in HOT MUTARD. They also have excellent fries and variety of sexy sauces. I chose the Chipotle aioli, which resulted in me aioli'ing my pants.


....and it looks like I've forgotten to go to the gym. FACK!!!!!!!!!!!


Anonymous said…
That was good shit. I too shall be incased in asada love prior to enshrinement. Any chance you are getting back to DC any time soon? We have much cheese to share. (I have to publish anonymousl because I can't remember my account info)
retro sweets said…
Love the french fries! Drool. Nice blog btw.
kristen schowe said…
I love pictures of greasy fattening food... I hate how much it makes me want to eat it though!!

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